The Bitten Bullet

Prompt: You have just swallowed your pride and done something you didn’t want to do. Your friend wants to know why. The two of you are driving around an almost-full parking garage looking for a space for the friend’s oversized pickup. Write the scene.

I felt like my head was about to explode. Between the emotional chaos of the last few days and the stress of attempting to find a parking spot, it was as if all the emotions I’d been suppressing for days were trying to escape at once. The dam already had cracks; it was only a matter of time before it crumbled completely, letting everything out in a flood.

I looked over at Chase. His forehead was creased and lips slightly pouted. It was a familiar look, as he wore it every time he concentrated on something. Currently, his concentration centered around finding a parking spot in time for me to board my flight.

“There’s one,” I said, pointing to an open spot two cars ahead. His eyes lit up before the crease on his forehead deepened.

“My truck won’t fit in that one,” he groaned.

“Chase, you can just drop me off by the ticket counters,” I replied. “You don’t have to park.”

He looked at me, seemingly exasperated.

“Liv, I said I was going to take you to the airport and walk you in, so that’s what I’m going to do. We’ll find a spot.” He smiled at the end, completely confident in his ability to find a spot sized for his colossal truck.

My nerves were more on edge every minute. I wrung my hands together, hoping to dispel some of the building tension.

“What’s wrong, Livvie? It’s just a flight to London. You’ll be there before you know it,” he said, attempting to calm my obvious nerves.

That was the final crack in the dam wall. The guilt washed over me in waves.

“I took the assignment,” I whispered, turning my eyes to the glove box.

I could sense him tensing as the words began to register. Abruptly, he slammed on the brakes and turned to look at me wide-eyed.

“You did what?”

He wasn’t yelling, but there was a brewing anger in his voice. He scanned my face for any sign of a lie.

Keeping my eyes averted, the words rushed out.

“I took the assignment. No one else in the department would take it. Someone has to do it, so I swallowed my pride and volunteered. From London, I’m boarding a plane to Damascus.”

I waited a moment before turning to look at him. His eyes were closed, his hands gripped the steering wheel.

“Why?” he asked in a hushed tone.

I sighed, and Chase began driving again, apparently satisfied he'd get an explanation.

“I just told you. No one else would do it, and I think it’s a story that needs to be told. It’s for two weeks, and it’s the opportunity of a lifetime. It’s a part of the world I’ve never been, and it’s a story that could make my career.”

His hands were trembling, but he managed to maneuver into a vacant spot on the garage's top level. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

Readying myself to say goodbye, I began to gather my things, but he finally turned to face me.

“You’ve got to be out of your mind.” He began in a whisper, which quickly morphed into yelling and filled the car with his strained voice.

“What are you thinking? There’s a reason no one wanted to take the assignment, Liv. First of all, you’re going into a war zone! Second, you’re a woman going into Syria to write a story about ISIS. How is that NOT going to turn out bad for you? This isn’t like Iraq or Afghanistan, Liv. There aren’t military convoys and bases to protect you!”

I shrank back at his words while he glared through the windshield, his jaw strained and nostrils flared.

“Why are you so angry?” I managed to choke out as tears formed in my eyes.

He turned his face back to mine, his tone softer but no less angry.

“What am I going to do if this is the last time I see you? What am I going to do if I have to see your name in every headline? ‘Reporter Olivia Billings killed in Syria.’ It’s dangerous, Olivia. It’s beyond dangerous, and you’re going in there like some sacrificial lamb. All because none of your colleagues would bite the damn bullet and go in themselves.”

“I’m going to be fine. I have contacts. They’ll keep me safe,” I replied.

“You can guarantee that? You can guarantee you won't get captured or killed?”

I wanted to promise him, but I knew his point was made. I sighed in defeat.

“No, I can’t, but I’m going anyway.”

I turned to look out the passenger window.

“Liv, look at me."

I reluctantly turned toward him. He looked into my eyes for what seemed like hours and then let out a sigh.

“Okay,” he said. “I know you’re going to do this regardless, so I might as well accept it.”

He still wasn’t happy, that was apparent, but he didn’t say anything else. He got out of the truck, and I followed, stepping out just as he unloaded my bags from the truck bed. He slung one over his shoulder and carried the other. I opened my mouth to protest, but he shot me a look that made me shut it again.

We walked in silence toward the terminal. I couldn’t believe this was how we were spending our goodbye. I knew he'd be mad, but he was my best friend, meaning he was also supposed to be supportive.

Tears streamed down my face as we finally made it out of the garage and into the terminal. He silently grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers, which only made the tears fall faster.

I checked in at the kiosk before silently turning to walk toward the security checkpoint, fear gripping me in every possible way. I stopped in my tracks, unsure if I'd be able to step through the gate.

Preparing to say my last goodbye, I turned back to Chase. He took my face in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

“Liv, it’s okay to be scared. Honestly, I’m scared as hell for you. But we can’t leave it like this.”

He looked down at me, his eyes piercing into mine. I nodded frantically, tears still escaping down my cheeks, as he hugged me tight.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled into his jacket.

He kissed my hair, pulling me closer.

“Don’t be sorry, Livvie. Be brave.”

He unwound the scarf from his neck and handed it to me.

“Here, take this. You can use it as a headscarf. Wherever you go and whatever you face, I’ll be with you.”

My heart pounded against my chest. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew I needed to go.

“Chase, I…”

“I love you too, Olivia, ” he interrupted, grinning.

Taking my face in his hands again, he gently kissed me. Too soon, he released me. I kissed him once more before turning away.

Wrapping the scarf around my neck, I took one last look, his eyes glassy as he stared after me.

I called out to him.

“Don’t be sad, Chase. Be brave.”